Choosing Between a Christ-Centered Life and a Self-Centered One

After Paul’s rich summary of the gospel in Ephesians 1–3, he shifts our attention to something deeply practical: how we relate to others. In Ephesians 4:1–2, he writes:

“I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
 

Right away, Paul connects our understanding of the gospel with the way we treat people. In fact, our relationships are one of the clearest indicators of whether we’re living a life centered on Christ—or on ourselves.

2 Corinthians 5:15 puts it this way:

“[Jesus] died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.”
 

At its core, sin is anti-relational. It isolates, divides, and turns us inward. But Jesus redefines success not by status or achievement, but by love—love for God and love for others (Matthew 22:37–40).

In the Western world, we often reduce faith to a “Jesus and me” mindset. But biblically, faith is always relational. Even the Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—is a picture of perfect relationship. We were made in God’s image, which means we were made for community.

As 1 John 4 reminds us: we can’t claim to love God if we don’t love people.

The message of the gospel is simple—and humbling.

We are sinners in need of grace. So God sent His Son to live the life we couldn’t live and die the death we deserved, so we could be restored to a right relationship with Him. We contribute nothing to this salvation. There is no room for pride.

Humility begins when God becomes the center of our lives—and we no longer try to place ourselves there.

Without humility, we can’t experience lasting joy or love others the way we’re called to (1 Corinthians 13:4–8). In Philippians 2, Paul describes what this kind of humility looks like:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3–4)
 

He then points to Jesus as our ultimate example—One who gave up His rights, embraced servanthood, and humbled Himself to the point of death (Philippians 2:6–11).

The message is clear: life isn’t all about us. And when we truly understand that, everything begins to change.

Let’s be honest—relationships are hard. Why? Because people are messy. And so are we.

We want self-sufficient children, spouses who can read our minds, and friends who always give without asking. But those expectations aren’t just unrealistic—they’re unloving. God never intended for relationships to be easy; He intended them to refine us.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
 

God uses our relationships to make us more like Jesus. But that transformation requires humility. It requires us to admit: I can’t do this on my own.

If you’ve ever thought, I’ll never be able to love the way God wants me to, you’re not alone—and you’re not wrong. But that’s the beauty of the gospel: we don’t have to live up to it; we’re invited to live out of it.

When we rely on Christ’s strength instead of our own, our capacity to love expands.

So how do you know if your relationship with God is growing? Look at the quality of your closest relationships. Are they marked by humility, patience, forgiveness, and love?

If not, don’t despair. You don’t need to “get it all together” before you begin loving others. Just start.

The phrase “Act, learn, adjust” reminds us that growth happens as we move forward—not before we do.

And when we forget that the world doesn’t revolve around us, God often sends little reminders: a traffic jam, a long checkout line, or an unexpected delay—all whispers of grace telling us again and again:

“You’re not the center of the universe—and that’s good news.”

60% of U.S. households live paycheck to paycheck

40% of households have less than $300 in savings

33% of Americans have nothing saved for retirement

95% of Americans have not saved enough for retirement